Noctuary - Published!

Monday, June 12, 2017

I finally did a thing! Ha, ha! I'm not sure if I have mentioned it here on the Blog, but I have been writing a couple books now for what seems like forever. This little collection was put together in a matter of days because I already had the poems in hand and I thought, why not? Why not publish my insides for all to see? Anyway, yes this a small little collection of some poems and diary entries spanning over a decade. It's very difficult for me to share any of my work for many reasons, one of them being vulnerability. I wrote some of these in my darkest times, when I felt alone and trapped in my own mind. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever think they would be available on Amazon and Kindle to Purchase [insert uncontrollable introvert laughter here] but I did it and I'm super proud of myself. The kindle version has had a lot of downloads since I published it, which was pretty surprising for me. 

As far as the name of the book, I thought Noctuary was appropriate since I do all my writing at night. The Websters definition of Noctuary is: a journal of nocturnal incidents or a journal of what happens in the night. I know other authors have used this word relating to horror fiction, but if I'm being completely honest with myself, these poems were written at night when I was most vulnerable, some even after I had nightmares/night terrors, some with tears streaming down my face. Writing helps ease my anxiety and panic attacks, it always has. These are a sum of my thoughts during those periods when I needed someone to just listen.

My other work is well on it's way too. I'm also planning on publishing another book of poetry that will also have art included. This one will probably have about 200 poems, but that's not written in stone yet, no pun intended...well maybe slightly intended. The manuscript for my sci-fi book is still underway...and I totally feel like I'm going to be pulling a Tolkien on this one. I do want to take my time and make sure it's perfect, hopefully without plot holes and such. I will also be submitting this professionally through to publishers. Which I know will be an interesting journey! I'm already prepared for rejections, but I refuse to give up on my dreams.

Well if you're curious, or need a door stop, here are the links for Amazon and Kindle:

I hope everyone has enjoyed the warmer weather that we have had in the States! I know we have! I can't wait to go swimming, and kayaking, and paddle boarding!


My Disney Side

Thursday, May 4, 2017

I'm not sure if I have ever mentioned it here, but I am a HUGE  Disney fan! In fact the very first movie that I saw in a movie theater (that I can remember!) was The Little Mermaid. I fell in love and never looked back. I had to watch everything Disney! I was relentless. When I was little you could always find me impatiently waiting to watch the Mickey Mouse Club on TV. Even the older black and white version! 

Here we have a tribute to my 9th birthday. It was 1990. I'm sporting my stylish Minnie Mouse shirt.

Oh my! Was I a dorky kid or what?! Who gives themselves bunny ears?? I should try to re-create this picture...but anyways. As I grew, my love for all things Disney grew. Anytime a Disney movie came out in theaters I had to go. Once I was old enough to go to Disneyland with just my friends, you bet I had a year pass with the least amount of black-out days! 

Here we have myself  and my best friend Jamie. It's 1995 and Toon Town was brand new!

Look how cute 'gansta' Eeka is! HA! Funny thing though, I did end up in Disney jail once, but we can talk about that another time! Moving on....

As you can imagine I love all things Disney and here is my list of my top 10 ALL TIME favorite Disney movies:

10. Cinderella
9. Lilo & Stitch
8. Mulan
7. Beauty & The Beast
6. Cinderella
5. Enchanted
4. Frozen
3. The Little Mermaid
2. Moana
1. Tangled

That list is always changing I feel. And don't get me wrong I pretty much love them all! I know Star Wars is now apart of Disney now, but it will always be a separate category to me. Though it is very exciting to have two of my favorite fandoms merge. 

My very first favorite Disney Princess was Ariel. We have a lot in common, except I'm not a mermaid, or a princess, or married to a prince...ha ha! Okay so maybe just the part about being raised by her dad and having a yearning to be in a world that is different from the one I was in. I never felt like I fit in. I still don't! I loved that she wasn't afraid to do what she needed to do to be with the one she was in love with, though as an adult when I look at it now, I'm like wow that's a weird story! I also read the original Hans Christian Andersen tale, and that's even worse!

Fast forward to today and Tangled has become my favorite! Moana is right behind. Rapunzel and I have so much in common! Except I wasn't kidnapped as a child, and I'm not a Princess, nor did I grow up in a tower! I did have a lizard as a pet, befriended a bunch of rough-ians, and been on more adventures than I can count! Unfortunately my hair does not have magical properties, though It's been many magical colors! 

Here are some of my favorite Disney movie moments:

Do you love Disney? I would love to hear about it!


Outfit Diary - Stormtrooper Skirt

Saturday, April 22, 2017

 Outfit Details: 
Cardigan - Thrifted
Tank top - Target
Skirt - ME! (Fabric is from Jo-Ann fabrics)
Necklace - Disney
R2D2 Chap stick - A.C. Moore 

Hola! Super nerdy outfit post here and wow I took a little bit of a break there! If I'm being completely honest I needed it! I have this really bad habit of piling a lot on my plate. I've also been working on my anxiety and Panic Disorder. In fact the other day I ran all of our errands alone, which is a really big deal for me, though I did end up with a bad anxiety attack after. Aside from that I've noticed that keeping myself busy and working with my hands helps a lot! I've been painting, writing, and sewing! The skirt you see here took me about 3 hours to make (it was my first skirt) and was really easy to make! If you are interested in trying it out yourself here are the links to the Youtube videos I used for reference:

 Skirts/dresses pockets

Simple Skirt

Add pockets to anything

It feels so satisfying making my own clothes, and all the money I'm saving in the process. Plus I feel like I have a strange shape and this way I'm able to have the perfect fit with comfort too.

I have also been on this kick where I feel that all clothing should have pockets, and when I made this skirt pockets were the first thing that came to mind. The pockets ended up being my favorite part! Unfortunately when I made the skirt I used my hand for measuring when I should have used my IPhone! I have the IPhone 7 plus and it doesn't fit. The next skirt I make I will make sure it fits.

Another fun thing I'm wearing is my new badge for the 501st Legion. I got it for when I'm not in my Jawa robes and when I'm wrangling. I think it's cool that it also has my PR Officer title. I help out with The New England Garrison's social media, which is a lot of fun!

And did you notice my hair? Can I say that gray hair is the hardest color I have ever tried to achieve? Because it is! My poor hairdresser had the hardest time trying to lighten it and I just recently re-toned it. Overall I love though! Have you ever had a hard time achieving a specific color?

I had a lot of fun taking pictures for this, as you can probably tell. My awesome fiance Mary was taking all the pics and my daughter was there too making me laugh. I love them so much.

Anyway, Thanks for stopping by!


Review: Ipsy Monthly Glam Bag

Sunday, March 26, 2017

What's inside the Glam Bag:

-Eyeko Fat Eye Stick in Satin
-Ldykin Affinitic Snail Cream
-theBalm Bahama Mama Bronzer
-Burt's Bees Lipstick in Suede Splash
-Ouai Treatment Hair Mask

All these fun surprises I tried! I've been looking for a monthly subscription for a while now and I'm glad I chose Ipsy. The lipstick is my favorite out of all the items. It's the perfect everyday shade and very natural looking. I'm also a huge Burt's Bee fan. I'm not a huge fan of the lotion though. Yes the tiny snail is adorable, but it wasn't enough lotion. It was a tiny dab, but besides that I really liked everything in it! It's only $10 a month and it's a sweet surprise to check your mail and see that hot pink bag!

Do you have a monthly subscription? I would love know!



Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Currently blog posts are probably my favorite posts! I've been doing them for quite awhile now. It's a simple summary of what I have been up to lately and I try to do one of these posts at least once a month. (When I'm blogging on the regular) If you're looking for a simple post idea you can grab my list anytime and join in! Leave me a link to your blog or list so I can check it out.

Current Mood: Unmotivated
It's true, I've been feeling super unmotivated lately. My depression has kicked in because I've been dealing with a lot of anxiety lately. I did take a big step and go to the doctors and they decided that I need to go through a lot of treatment to get back to a good place mentally. Last year I was diagnosed with recurring ptsd, generalized anxiety disorder, and panic disorder triggered from a traumatic event that happened. I was in therapy but stopped going, which was my fault. For what it's worth I had a panic attack going there once because of the drive and slid backwards down a snowy hill in my car. I then tried to walk up said hill and fell half way down and never went back. So my doctor promised that his staff will find me a therapist on a normal road in town. I can laugh at this now, but I was in tears at my doctors.  

Current Procrastination: Medication
Along with the different types of therapy my doctor wants me to go through, he also prescribed medication. If you know me personally, you would know that I am not a fan of pills. So we will see how that goes! 

Current Hair: Black and Blue-ish Grey
I'm not sure if you can tell in the picture but I went through a ton of processing to get my hair that color! I just have to say that I love it! But if you are thinking about doing your hair this color just be prepared! You have to get your hair white. That's right, in order to get grey you have to have white hair. We had to bleach my hair 3x's to get it white and it still had a green tint, which had me going back for my stylists to add more color to cancel out the green! I think we spent a total of 8 hours on my hair! So I'm lucky it didn't break off! I totally love it, even though I'm spending a lot time conditioning and repairing now. 

Current Movie: Moana
Have you seen this movie?? If you haven't you are totally missing out! It's such a cute movie! I rented on TV the other day and had it playing on-stop. I'm part Pacific Islander and it's so awesome to see a Disney Princess that is an Islander. I'm so in love with this move!

Current Fandom: Star Wars
Some exciting news that I haven't mentioned here is that I am now in the Rebel Legion which is the sister club to the 501st Legion. The difference is that the 501st is the darside and Rebel Legion is the Light. I am now a member of both with my one costume, which allows me to troop in any Star Wars costume now! I'm currently working on an Admiral Daala costume and next I'm hoping to make a Padme or Handmaiden costume.  

Current Truth: Love
The other day when I was doing dishes, Mary came home and brought me roses. I just melted. I'm very girly and old fashion, so flowers and chocolates are the way to this girls heart! I know it sounds silly and cheesy, but I love flowers! It's the little things that count, and it's nice to feel truly loved.  

Current Book: My Own
I'm so excited because I'm adding pages daily! Who knows, I may even finish my first draft for both books this year. It also helps with my anxiety. I'm reading other books on the side when I can to keep motivated, but I am having so much fun watching my characters grow that there is no lack of motivation in this department!

Current Obsession: Training My Dogs
I don't know if I have ever mentioned it here, but our dogs are currently kept separated. But have no fear, we have a trainer and she is fabulous! She has taught us so many techniques and has given us hope that our babies will be able to be together without us worrying. We've been slowly introducing them to each other. They have even learned more tricks!

Current Love: My New Phone
I bought an Iphone 7 Plus and I'm so in love with it! I have had a dinky LG phone since last July because I gave my iPhone 6 to my son. I'm excited to have all my pictures back! I can't tell you how much I like the iOS over Android. And yes I got the Plus and no it's not too big for me.

Currently Looking Forward To: My New Costume 
Like I mentioned above I'm in the middle of making an Admiral Daala costume. I just ordered the uniform and I'm sure I will have to alter it when it gets in. I still have to get a bunch of other pieces together like the red wig and hair clips. I can't wait to complete it!

I hope everyone is having a great week!


Around The House - Star Wars

Monday, March 6, 2017

vintage toys

There's nothing else that screams Nerd! like having Star Wars all around your house. We have everything from pillows to vintage action figures. All the paintings you see are done by Mary and I. I painted the BB-8 and R2-D2 in the picture that has our Lego's in it. This Fandom is found all throughout my house, along with Doctor Who and Harry Potter. Those are my top 3. I also have a lot Star Wars toys that are kept in hiding, and we are waiting on Mary's vintage Millennium Falcon. It's huge! And we want to hang it from the ceiling in our bedroom. We are constantly collecting, and I can't wait to get more!

Do you have any nerdy things that standout in you place? I also have Star Wars all over my desk at work. Which you can check on my Instagram. Total nerd here!


5 Fandom Friday - Geeky Expressions

Friday, February 24, 2017

It's Friday! Yay! And here's another 5 Fandom Friday Friday  (The Nerdy 

Geeky Expressions Only Your Friends Would Understand....

Star Wars disco dance

Number 1. "I've got (or I have) a bad feeling about this..."
That expression is used in every single Star Wars movie! 

Number 2. "Let it go..."
I have used this expression so many times...and yes many times I've just started to sing it!

Number 3. “Inconceivable!" and  "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” If you don't know what movie this is from you are dead to me! ha!

Number 4. "It's bigger on the inside!"
I usually get some blank stares from people that have never seen Doctor Who...but ask me if I care?

Number 5. "May the force be with you..." Now did you really think I would leave that one out?

I hope everyone has had a great week! Mine has been busy and my weekend looks even busier! I'm hoping to make some cute cupcakes and get them up on the blog...wish me luck!



Monday, February 20, 2017

Star Wars toys

Current Fandom:

I mean would it really surprise you if I said something else besides Star Wars? Believe it or not, but I'm actually a huge Doctor Who fan too. But Doctor who came later in life. So yes, I'm still here geeking out over everything Star Wars. I can't wait to get my next costumes made for the 501st. I have a couple in mind, especially one where I don't have to wear a mask or helmet.

Current Hair:

This has been my go-to look, loose curls, add flower viola! I'm very excited that my hair is now touching my shoulders! It's hard to tell in that picture but soon it will be long again and I can't wait! I use to do a lot of fun hair styles when it was longer and I miss that. I'm also thinking about going black and adding some purple peek-a-boo streaks.

Current Mood:

I guess my current mood is meh. if that counts as a mood? I'm kind of over the cold weather and I can't wait for spring! I also want to move really bad. Our place is just way too small and we live off of a main road. I have to hear big rigs on a regular basis, which can be very irritating.

Current Movie:

I just watched a movie from the 90's called How To Make An American Quilt. It stars Winona Ryder and it has all the feels! Mary and I have been on a 90's movie kick lately. I have to tell you that it really makes me miss the days without smart phones. I mean I know smart phones have only been mainstream for maybe 10 years, but I hate them. We waste so much time in those alternate realities now. I mean look at our president who is constantly on Twitter. Sad.

Current TV:

I guess the news? Er, I mean the fake news? Ha, ha! Also Saturday Night Live. I can't get enough of it! I've been watching every single episode. I've also been watching Big Bang Theory re-runs and How I Met Your Mother. Those are the shows I watch when I just want something on in the background.

Current Truth:

Stormtrooper helmets

Yes that's me, bottom row, in the middle. Mary and I, and some of our Star Wars cosplaying fiends, performed on stage at Drag Ball. What is Drag Ball you ask? Well it is one of the most exciting yearly events held in Burlington Vermont. It's a night when you dress up and have fun, and no one will judge you...well except the Drag Queens if you enter the costume contest! We danced on stage to a Star Wars disco song and it was crazy! Now, how does this relate to my current truth? Well This night helped me prove to myself that I am still capable of being me. Struggling with mental illness can feel like you are fighting for yourself, and getting up on that stage was a huge accomplishment. I grew up dancing and performing and I never thought I would be up on a stage again! I'm not going to lie though I missed some moves and there was a moment when I almost ran off stage, but I didn't! I'm so proud of all of us! And from what I remember there was a lot of cheering!

Current Book:

Time Traveling With A Hamster by Ross Welford. This book is a fun read and I read in this genre to help me with writing. since my novel is in the same genre it helps me with my flow. It also keeps me inspired too. When you are a writer one of the hardest parts is keeping inspired...and finishing. I struggle with finishing my books because I have to work all the time, but I try to set time aside just for writing. Even if it's only for 30 minutes.

Current Procrastination:

From my last current topic I think it's safe to say my books! My memoir has been a tough one to write since I'm covering a period of my life where I experienced traumatic abuse. I don't feel like I'm re-living any of it or anything like that. I almost worry more about being judged. I'm not broken. In fact I have worked really hard to be who I am today. I have overcome obstacles that most people cannot even fathom nor survive. I know I need to just write and get it all out. My other book is being highly neglected also, and I constantly have new ideas popping up in my mind all the time!

Current Obsession:

Cleaning. Like I mentioned earlier I want to move. When I want to move it makes me want to clean. I want to get rid of stuff that I just don't need. This weekend I went through all of the medicine in the house. I got rid of so much! I couldn't believe all the expired stuff we had! We also cleared out the bathroom. I think we are doing well considering how much we have. My kid's have a lot of stuff they need to purge also.

Well I hope everyone is having a good week! If you do a Currently post leave me a link in the comments so I can check it out!

And you can find some of my past Currently posts HERE and HERE.


Outfit Diary - Snow Day

Monday, February 13, 2017

cute skirt
snow in vermont
floral skirt ootd bloger

Outfit Details:
Coat - Thrifted
Boats - Life Stride Boots

Wow my first Outfit diary in over a year! And the first one for 2017 and I'm really excited about this outfit because I now have a new favorite skirt! It's very comfy and stretchy, which is my favorite type clothing. I'm usually a leggings girl, but I do have a collection of skirts. I only have one other floral skirt and you can find it Here , it wasn't an outfit post, but I love that skirt too. I love floral print as much as I love polka dots. and this skirt seems super versatile! I picked the black, white, and gray color scheme so it would match pretty much every top I own (minus the Star Wars ones!) and I can wear it to work. I work in an office and the dress code is business casual. So it's perfect! I also think this would look cute with my turquoise tank top, white cardigan, and converse! I will have to try that out once Spring comes. As you can tell in the pictures it's snowing. It's Vermont in the winter, so the occasional snow storm is pretty normal. I have a super cute black top under that coat, but it was too cold and snowy for the coat to come off!

One last mention...those boots!!! They are the best boots I have ever owned!

Anyway guys, I have a long week ahead and I hope everyone has a great Valentine's Day!