Anxiety is such a strange monster to live with. I have found with this round that keeping busy has been the best thing to do. When I wake up every morning I do a complete scan. I lay there for a little while making sure that everything is intact and that I am in fact awake. Then I bring my attention to everything around me. For a while I was living hour by hour, but my anxiety attacks have lessened and now I'm up to living day by day. I'm dependent on my support system, and I'm surrounded by love, which makes me really lucky. A very good friend of mine came up to visit and this helped me a lot. I can go out to public places and not have to feel like I need to run, of course I always have company with me...alone is still too difficult. Hopefully I will recover from this bout sooner than later, and it feels that way. My life is very important to me. There are so many things I have planned. I won't let the monster interrupt things like it has in the past. Meditation and reiki have been my best friend through all of this.
It's sad that most of the outside world look at the ones that battle this little monster like as if we are broken, in fact they tell us we are broken. We aren't broken. We are the real warriors who have experienced life and understand it. We see past all the facades and know what is real.
It can feel like heartache, but I'm too filled with love to be labeled as broken.