Sorry for the absence! I haven't been feeling well lately, and I got a new computer! So between being sick and trying to set up my new computer, I thought I was never going to finish this post. Anyway, I don't think I have ever written about what being a lesbian is like for me on here, simply because I hate labels. I did say in my post about my New Year resolutions that I would write more about topics that are very important to me. Being gay, lesbian, bi, queer, transgender and so forth, is not an easy thing to do. I can't stand when people say "oh it's just a phase" no, it's not. I also can't stand when people say it's a choice. You can argue this with me until you are blue in the face, and we will have to agree to disagree, because it is not a choice. I have dated men, and it never works out because I'm gay, plain and simple.
The most interesting part of being a lesbian though......are the questions!
So let me share some FAQ's :
Q: If you're a lesbian, than how did you have children?
A: My uterus still works, and any woman can have a baby without having actual intercourse. I know many straight couples who have had invitro. This is a very personal question, and I find it rude. Everyone's story is different. My children have a father (yes, the same one, that's a common question for me too) and they know him, but my kids have only been raised by me and my ex-wife,and current wife.
Q: Oh you're married? (Because they notice the ring) What does your husband do?
A: My wife works for a chiropractor...let the awkwardness begin. Whenever I get asked about my "husband" I cringe inside. Sometimes I just go along with it , but the only people who ask this range in the 60's and up. I guess it was okay for that generation to ask strangers invasive questions. Now-a-days the economy is so horrible, I almost feel like it's a trick question. It's not uncommon anymore for there to be stay-at-home dads or so forth. What if my husband has passed away? I just think if you're trying to make small talk, please just stick with the weather.
Q: So who is the guy in the relationship?
A: This question is more common than you would think. No one is the "guy" we are both female. In my relationship there aren't any gender specific roles. We compliment each other. Yes, my wife is butch and I'm super girly...but I bring home the bacon and she makes sure the kids always have what they need. I have to ask if I can make dinner! She also does most of cleaning, pays the bills and so forth. Never judge a book by it's cover....and never stereotype people.
Q: Are you raising your kids gay?
A: First of all WHAT? How do you even do that? Yes I was asked this question in front of a group of people by a complete stranger. I'll tell you exactly what I said: "No. I'm raising my children to be functioning well-rounded people in our society." I'm a total Mama Bear and I was ready to rip this girls head off. Mind you I'm pretty reserved. This girl ended up apologizing later, and tried to be my friend..... Sooooo did not happen.
All in all, I don't mind answering any questions. In fact I encourage it. I know there's a lot of people who don't understand what life is like for gay people, but to put it simply, we are just as human an anyone else. Most of us just live simple lives, pretty much just trying to blend in with the rest of society (and I'm using "blend in" very loosely) and date or marry who we want. It's not complicated.